I Refuse To Be So Contactable!

Having been born in the 80s, I have lived through some incredible changes in technology - some good and some not so good. I have always loved technology and used to get really excited when something new and innovative was released. I adopted as many awesome devices as my wages would allow in my younger days. Now though, I am starting to feel that things have gone too far.

Allow me to go back a bit. In my house, we didn’t get a phone until maybe around 1990. I can’t be certain of the year and it’s not really important. What is important is that we had one phone in the house. It was in the living room, it was connected to the wall by a wire and the handset was connected to the base by a wire. We could move the phone into the hall by pulling the wire under the door if we wanted privacy or to avoid interrupting anyone who was watching TV or having a conversation - something people used to do back then.

If someone tried to call you on the number assigned to that phone line and you weren’t there then you were unavailable. They couldn’t contact you unless you were somewhere else where there was a phone and they knew that phone’s number. If they were lucky and someone else answered then they’d leave a message and you could call them back. Otherwise, tough.

Before my parents got the phone installed in our house, if we wanted to make a call we’d have to go to my gran’s or to a public phone box. Phone boxes were placed in many locations where I lived and I still see them dotted around but they are far fewer in number these days and are often inoperable.

Then, mobile phones started becoming popular. They had been around for many years before that but weren’t really commonplace. They were previously huge and had massive batteries which didn’t last very long. They were also expensive. Hell, my first mobile phone damn near bankrupted me. I got it when I was 16, as soon as I started full time work. You had to top it up with “air time” and the credit you added did not allow you to make very many calls. £5 allowed me around 5 minutes.

The phone that I had then was so basic that you could not even send or receive text messages with it. I know, how absurd is that? Especially when you consider all you can do with a modern smartphone.

Despite my love of technology and the fact that I enjoy using my phone for playing games and keeping in touch with friends and family (depending on my mood), I actually wish I had never got a smartphone. It has made me too contactable. I can go weeks without hearing from people and I’m absolutely fine with that - it is not uncommon for an autistic person. When someone tries to get hold of me though, if they don’t get a reply within 5 minutes, I get a call asking if I’m dead. If not that then “have you fallen out with me?” or “have I done something wrong?” It’s like you’re not allowed to be uncontactable for even a short time and I believe it is a direct result of all these new, instant methods of keeping in touch; all the messenger apps, video calling apps like Zoom and FaceTime, social media etc.

It drives me mad and I want to go back in time to when we had that one phone in the house. Unfortunately, I don’t see that ever happening. Business owners seem to love being able to contact employees whenever they want, customers want to have their queries answered even when the company is closed and couples can’t bear to not be able to contact each other at will.

I don’t see this as a pro, I very much see it as a con. I make a point of telling people not to phone me and that if they message me they may wait days, weeks or even months for a reply. I am not playing the game. I like being uncontactable sometimes and I will do whatever I can to ensure that is always an option for me.

I would also like to go back to the times when people wouldn’t chat loudly on their phones on public transport, interrupt a meal by taking or making a call or playing TikTok videos very loudly when people are trying to watch TV or enjoy the entertainment in the pub. Sadly though, I doubt those times will ever exist again.

As always, thank you for taking the time to check out my ramblings and I hope you have the day you deserve.

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